Fortune Favors The Bold

You enter the room full of people with complete confidence. Your dress hugs your body elegantly, as you scan the room your face is relaxed, a slight smile playing on your lips.

Your poise and posture denote an air of grace. Your shoulders relaxed, the low cut of your dress shows a toned, sexy back as you glide down the few stairs with ease, drop earrings swaying gently in the rhythm of your movement.

Your hair is drawn back revealing a slender neck as you look directly ahead. You have never felt so good in your body.

You’re escorted by your partner who looks lovingly into your eyes. They’ve never seen you so calm, relaxed and confident in such an environment.

You’re introduced to the host and you confidently extend an arm to shake hands and cheek to cheek kiss. You speak clearly, your eyes soft and friendly.

Throughout the evening you easily mingle with strangers, somehow you make each one feel like they’re the only one in the room. You leave them wondering what it is you have, that certain je ne sais quoi if you will.

That is how I always wanted to be

Instead the reality of the picture was this for me... and this is what happened at the Gala Dinner when I worked at The Royal International Air Tattoo (yes, that’s a plug)

I entered the room hoping no one would see me. My dress didn’t feel right on my wonky frame and I fidgeted. I never looked up and out, my facial muscles were so tight due to clenching my teeth. I wasn’t at ease in my own body let alone the setting and an elegant dress.

My posture was lousy, it hurt to stand up straight, shoulders permanently round my ears as if holding myself up. A low cut dress made me cold and I shivered despite it being mid July. I’d had my hair cut short and I felt horribly exposed, I had nothing to hide behind.

I stumbled over the few steps in a long dress and high heels. I didn’t like short dresses I didn’t like my legs. The drop earrings hurt my ears they were too heavy (should have worn lighter ones!)

I didn’t have a partner gaze at me lovingly, it was a work event. Instead my boss shot me a look that said “what the heck is wrong with you?” I’d gone from office confident (ish) to social nerd.

I didn’t like shaking hands, I never knew how my grip should be I overly worried it would be too limp. I was introduced to Major General Thackwray of the South African Military, he extended his hand and went in for a cheek to cheek greeting but in my awkwardness we fair near head butted one another. I was mortified, whilst he let out a nervous laugh (it subsequently became known as “our moment”).

I hated mingling with strangers. I always looked for an exit. I noted where the toilets were so I could make an escape at some point. I didn’t like being the centre of attention and I didn’t know how to make polite conversation, I felt awkward. I was awkward.

I most likely left people wondering who the heck I was. There was certainly no mysterious je ne sais quoi.

Until recently...

I attended an event I actually looked forward to. I didn’t think I’d ever look forward to an event where I knew absolutely no one but I did and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

More to the point, I went on my own. I was out of my comfort zone in every sense of the word.

I walked into the room wearing a really snazzy jumpsuit I’d fallen in love with. Something I would not normally wear.

And it was red. A BRIGHT DARING RED.

A color I would NEVER wear. I was even further out of my comfort zone than I cared to think.

The evening was a mix of people from all walks of life. It was canapés and drinks with a couple of speakers. And I felt right at home.

I moved with confidence and grace, I looked and felt elegant and was completely at ease and happy with myself from the inside out as I mingled.

So what changed?

A time comes when you need to stop waiting for the person you want to become and start being the person you want to be.

A time comes when you need to put yourself at the top of the priority list. YOU. NEED. YOU.

All it takes is a decision. A decision is a thought. 

That single thought led to an action that expanded my world. That single thought led to someone contacting me 3 days after the event who said... “I remembered you from the canapé event the other night and I wanted to talk about what you do”.

You’re only ever one thought away.