What Would Your Super Power Be And Why?

I DIDN’T WANT TO BE SEEN.

In Part 1 I talked about how I wasn’t seen, how I didn’t want to be seen, that my choice of super power would be invisibility.

It’s been a recurring theme throughout my life so when I trained in Pilates I HAD to be seen. I HAD to face my internal enemy I HAD to get out in front of people and instruct, speak, teach, guide whatever word you want to use.  No more back of the room position for me.

DO YOU PUT YOURSELF AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM?

I’ve done it all my life. Metaphorically and physically.

In the classroom at school I’d go sit at the back.

In dance classes I’d be at the back.

In stage shows I made sure I was at the back.

At social functions I put myself out of the way.

At my wedding I escaped the top table as soon as I could and went to the back of the room and observed.

See the pattern?

WHAT WERE THE RESULTS?

As a result in school I was relentlessly bullied, the stupid kids sat at the back.

As a result in dance our tutor would rotate the room and I wound up with anxiety each time.

As a result of being at the back in stage shows I was never really seen by my family and I felt bad when they complained they couldn’t see me.

As a result of hiding away at social functions I felt desperately lonely, wanted to speak to someone but at the same time felt I had nothing of worth to say.

As a result of putting myself at the back of the room at my wedding I didn’t enjoy it.

Made for some lousy thoughts and feelings about myself over time.

WHO AND WHAT DO YOU SEE?

I didn’t see myself as interesting.

I didn’t see myself as having any worth.

I didn’t see myself as the kind of person I wanted to be.

I could look in the mirror and see, well, nothing

I could plant a smile on my lips that apparently “lit up my face” yet inside I felt dull.

That’s not a good place to be really is it? Wouldn’t you agree?

WHO do YOU see when you look in the mirror?

WHAT do YOU see when you look in the mirror?

SEEING IS BELIEVING

When I trained in Pilates and I had to get in front of people, in front of the class I was pushed so far out of my comfort zone I hated it but as I grew in my knowledge base and my grounding I started to fall in love with what I was doing.

The same happened when I plunged into the world of Coaching.  As my grounding increased so did my skill set in what I had to offer my clients. 

The idea of Group Coaching has thrown up those old insecurities of being seen yet it is no different to teaching a group in Pilates.

So where does the belief come from?

My thoughts, and my thoughts alone

I’m pulling past memories into the present moment, believing the old story and re-living it to the extent I don’t want to put myself in front of a group.

Yet when I take stock of what I’m doing - pulling past memories into the present moment, I’m doing it all with the power of thought.  The past doesn’t exist. 

I’ll say that again for dramatic emphasis – THE PAST DOES NOT EXIST.

THEN I see the belief for what it is. A made up story.

So I can change the story, right?

Absolutely! And so can YOU.