What Would Your Super Power Be And Why?

Me?  Invisibility.

Speaks volumes really for someone who has an issue with being visible. That I would opt for an invisibility super power.  But maybe I’ve got it cracked?

Why?  Because I go about helping others quietly.  I don’t make a song and dance about it.  I don’t shout about my achievement.  I don’t shout about the results my clients achieve.

Maybe I should? After all is that not marketing yourself?

But then quietly going about things has landed me some amazing jobs including my dream job.

But then, ironically, over time I felt I wasn’t really seen for what I did in my dream job yet I loved the place and the people I worked with, I remained friends with a few after I left.  Every day driving there it felt like coming home – can’t describe how a job can make you feel like that but those were my thoughts at the time.  Interestingly, subsequently when I used to visit with my young son for a lunch date I had the same feeling.  It has never left me.

Yet I still felt I wasn’t seen for what I did.  I was struggling financially. The journey was killing my car, the debt was mounting up on my credit card I put all my fuel on it and car repairs.  I remember one Christmas party I couldn’t start my car. Some slightly inebriated colleagues went to get it started.  They got it started, drove it round the car park but somewhere along the line the exhaust came off!  We never did find it.

TURNING POINT

I had a very slow and very noisy journey home up the motorway and arrived home at 2am. What would normally take an hour took almost two.  That was the turning point for me.  I was mulling over the events of the party whilst the noise of my car seemed to echo round a near empty motorway.

The vibrations running through the car were uncomfortable. It felt like a metaphor for how things were for me at that time. Everything was uncomfortable.

AM I REALLY SEEN LIKE THIS?

At the office party is was customary for staff to do a skit about office life.  It was funny. But it was also uncomfortable. Although I laughed at how I was portrayed, inside I felt awful.  All eyes were on me to see my reaction. I just plastered a smile on my face and said “yep, that’s me!” I was actually gutted that that’s how I was SEEN.

Did I REALLY come across like how I was portrayed? Heck, it was meant to be a bit of light hearted fun but I didn’t want to be seen like that. Basically my ego had a field day and I felt pretty lousy as a result.

MY HANDS ARE TIED

The New Year I plucked up all the courage I could muster to ask for a raise.  I’d gone through my head every value that I offered, every hour that I put in to support others.  My boss listened to what I had to say and then his response came “my hands are tied, I can’t do it. I can only offer you this”.

I left his office thinking “now what?” Was I really not worthy of the raise? I threw myself into putting more hours in as I buried myself in my work.  Burying myself. How could I be seen?

Ultimately I made the decision to leave.  I’d thrown myself into the job I wanted so much only over time to feel totally alone, my health suffered and I suffered burn out #1.

IMAGINE IF YOU WILL

Imagine what it would be like for you to break the pattern of remaining invisible.

Imagine what it would be like to just be you and be acknowledged, noticed without being all shouty “look at me”.

Imagine what it would be like for the real you to be seen.

How would you FEEL then?