Restrictions Will Set You Free
I came to the conclusion it came from my uniquely shaped spine and ultimately spilled out into other areas of my life.
Because of the double scoliosis that runs through my spine I could find certain dance moves challenging, I’d get angry as a result as I compared myself to others in my dance classes.
It put paid to my dream of a dance career. I wanted to do Ballet and nothing else. I did not make the required grade to attend a summer school that would potentially be a stepping stone for me.
I got angry at my physical restrictions.
It put paid to a potential career within the RAF. I wanted to do what was aerial reconnaissance photography at the time. I left the RAF careers office with the words “given the medical information we have we can only offer you an office role” ringing in my ears.
I got angry at my physical restrictions.
Yet I never let the physical restrictions run my life.
I played tennis for the school team, then the county, my right side being so much stronger I had a powerful forehand swing as a result I had a unique way of moving round the court to use it to my advantage.
I still danced but moved into the contemporary side of the genre which opened me up to moving as I wanted to move and not be restricted by the traditional ballet moves I found challenging.
I played netball, that strong right side of my body coming in incredibly useful.
I once did a sponsored swim using a rather unique technique to achieve the end result without becoming fatigued.
I trained as a movement specialist in the world of Pilates, my unique spine gave me a different perspective on movement, you don’t do Pilates with me you experience it.
Seeing differently
I no longer see restrictions as a complete negative.
The physical restrictions allowed me to diverse into something else creating a different life.
The restrictions of family house rules led me to leaving the family home moving into a house share aged 18 with no more than my belongings. It gave me the opportunity to create a new life.
Doubled edged sword
Restrictions for me though became a double edged sword and started to become the dark side of my success.
I felt restricted in knowledge seeing myself as never being deserving of the high level roles I found myself in so I would continually learn attending one course after another.
Imposter syndrome hit whilst I rocketed up the career ladder in a relatively short space of time, I would relentlessly push myself to prove my worth.
My need for creativity can sometimes lead to losing interest in projects and self sabotaging success to solve new problems and create something else. This is where the double edged sword of restrictions hits me – restrictions can drive creativity and ultimately set you free yet for me the relentless push landed me with severe burn out – four times.
I came across this quote
“Freedom doesn't mean the absence of all restrictions. It means possessing unshakable conviction in the face of any obstacle.” Daisaku Ikeda, Japanese Philosopher
I no longer let the double edge sword of restrictions affect me. Is it easy? No! I have to mentally check in with myself.
I’d like you to deeply think about this...
What is a restriction really?